Today I am going to tell you a tale about a tiger and a magic potion. A tiger with very sharp teeth, and a potion that miraculously transforms things from old and drab to something much better. A bit like your very own fairy godmother. Only with a little more effort on your part.
Once upon a time, Clare traveled with her family to a strange land. On arrival they were entrapped by a bland beige palace. To escape its clutches, she first had to find them somewhere else to live. It was an epic herculean struggle, but like most heroines she eventually overcame adversity, and managed to find something that would do the trick.
But the new place was itself under a spell of enchantment. Covered in layers of old wallpaper, and stuck in a 1970s time loop, it needed dragging into the present day before the beige palace would release her family. That wallpaper had to go.
She was wandering the never ending aisles of a large orange hardware store when she met a tiger. A tiger with very sharp teeth. ‘Do not be despondent’ said the tiger. ‘I am the Paper Tiger, and I will help you. All you need is me, and my magic potion, and all will be well.’
So, Clare took the tiger and his potion with her. The tiger showed her his big sharp teeth.
And his magic potion:
‘Rub me on the walls’ the tiger said ‘Then dilute the magic potion according to the instructions.’ So Clare did as the tiger told her, and rubbed him on the walls, and mixed the potion.
‘Apply the potion to the walls. Once this is done, you must be patient and wait, because only then can the magic work,’ he said.
Clare waited patiently for 15 mins, then reapplied some more magic potion and waited again. She applied a last layer of magic potion, grabbed the top edge of the paper, and true to the tiger’s words the paper slid off the walls in great big sheets. So that this:
Was magically transformed to this:
It would be lovely if the tale ended there, but Clare and the tiger had other works to perform. And these were harder. Much much harder.
The kitchen/dining wallpaper looked innocent enough. Cheery little flowers interspersed with a rope-like pattern.
But lurking underneath the surface was extra strength glue. It resisted the work of the magic potion and clung to the walls with all its strength. The paper was thin and brittle, and flaked off the wall in tiny little bits bringing strips of dry wall/gyprock paper with it. Clare was patient, very patient. Then extremely extra patient, frustrated but still patient, and then, finally not patient at all. Several magic words were said, loudly and emphatically, but to no avail, the wallpaper resisted all of her efforts.
She reached for her old friend, Mr Scraper. Who, as usual, was only too happy to help out. He’s a cheery chap, willing to take anything on. No problems.
Eventually, with the combined efforts of Clare, the tiger, the magic potion and Mr Scraper the task was complete. And the kitchen dining space was delivered from it’s layer of evil clingy wallpaper.
Except that now Clare needed the services of the drywall fairy. Luckily, the paper tiger promised to introduce her. But that is a tale for another day.